6 Tips for Handling Rejection

If you’re an author, unless you’re the most brilliant author in the history of the universe (and perhaps even then), you are going to get rejected. Disappointing? Yes, but not the end of the world. Here is some advice on how to deal with it.

Don’t Take It Personally

Rejection happens. It is an absolute fact of life, not only in writing but in everything we do. Nobody is going to like what you have to say or the way you say it every single time. Some people may never like it. But others will. You just have to find the right person.

One of the most difficult pieces of rejection to get is when an agent or editor tells you they liked—or even loved—your writing, but they still don’t accept it. They’ll explain that it just isn’t the right fit for them, or not what they want right now, or too similar to something else they have already accepted.

While those may seem like brush offs, chances are what they are saying is 100% percent true. Agents and editors won’t tell you they liked your story if they didn’t. They don’t have time to waste on that. A positive rejection means you are very close to success. You just have to keep trying.

Consider Criticism with an Open Mind

If you are lucky enough to receive specific criticism, don’t get offended, and don’t ignore it. The person who sent you those comments took time out of their extremely busy schedule because they felt your writing was good enough to merit it.

Look carefully at what the rejection says. Don’t take it as an attack on you or your work, but as a suggestion, just like you would from a critique partner or beta reader. Consider it with an open mind. And then decide if you agree. If you do agree, make some changes. If you don’t agree, don’t. The next editor or agent may like your story exactly the way it is now.

Take a Short Break

Take a few minutes, a few hours, even a few days to do anything other than writing, or stewing over the latest rejection. Go for a walk. Go out to dinner with friends or your family. Take in the latest moving or binge watch past episodes of your favorite show. Get out of the house for the weekend and go somewhere.

Take a little bit of time to recharge your batteries, and to let the sting of rejection fade. Then take a deep breath, and dive right back in. If the rejection included a personal note, reread it and see if it’s worth addressing. If not, move on. Identify your next set of targets, and set out another round of queries.

A short break can help a lot, but keep it short. It is far too easy for a few days off to turn into weeks, months, even years. Don’t let that happen.

Write Something New

You may think the story or book that just got rejected is the best thing you have ever written. And it may be. But that doesn’t mean it is the best thing you will ever write.

Always have another project in progress, or waiting to be started. You should already be writing something new while you’re waiting to hear back on your last set of queries anyway. Use the power and energy of creation, of crafting an even better story, to help get you past the disappointment of rejection.

Don’t be afraid to send different works out to the same agents and editors, either. The first story might not have resonated with them, but they may absolutely adore the second.

Silence Your Biggest Critic

Even the most brilliant, egotistical, bombastic blowhard harbors self-doubt. For those of us mere mortals, we live our lives surrounded by doubt on every side. Receiving a rejection is just one more excuse for us to think the least of ourselves and our abilities.

Don’t fall into that trap. Take your self-doubt, slap it around a little bit, and kick it to the wayside. It isn’t doing you any good. A rejection does not mean you are a bad writer—some of the best and most prolific writers racked up hundreds of rejections before making their first sale.

And even famous, extensively published authors get rejected. Jane Yolen, award-winning author of more than 370 books for children, still receives rejections. Here’s what she has to say about it:¹

Some rejections I curse the editor for being dense, uncaring, lying, or incompetent. Some I curse publishing in general, its emphasis on bestsellerdom, its attention to bottom line, its incapacity for surprise. Occasionally I curse myself: I’m not good enough for the idea. I was too facile. I sent it to the wrong editor. I am too demanding, not demanding enough. 

But I did the only thing possible, given a rejection. I turned right around and sent the little picture books off again, by email, to someone else.

A Rejection is a Win

It may not seem like it, but being rejected is not the worst thing that could happen to you as a writer. Not receiving rejections is.

If you never receive a rejection, it almost certainly means you never submitted your work in the first place. You never sent a query. You never even tried.

The only sure way to guarantee that you will never be published is to never try. Accept rejections for what they are: proof that you are trying, and will keep trying, until you succeed.

C. Wombat

¹ Taken from Jane Yolen’s For Writers: Frequently Asked Questions.